It might be difficult for new grandparents to tread carefully when recommending names for their grandchildren.
Although having preferences is normal, there’s a thin line separating being nice and imposing.
A man on Reddit was struggling with this since, while his wife was pregnant, his mother turned into a “mother-in-law from hell.” Even though he established limits, he wondered if voicing his ideas went too far.
An assertive future grandma
The 25-year-old man used Reddit’s “Am I The A*****e” post to discuss the current state of affairs and the difficulties he and his wife Kenzie, who is also 25 years old, were facing as they prepare to have their first child.
Getty is credited.
He clarified that this would be his parents’ first grandchild, which he claimed began his mother acting “some crazily,” with Kenzie being the target of much of this. He stated in his post that he had never realized his mother could be so demanding in real life.
“This began immediately upon the news of our pregnancy. My mother went to Kenzie and said that if we had a boy, we should name him Rodger, and if we had a girl, we should name him Elizabeth. My mom wanted to name me or one of my brothers Rodger, but my dad always disliked the idea, he said. Rodger was my mom’s grandpa.
Even after Kenzie told her that the couple already had a few ideas for baby names and wasn’t really searching for any, the Redditor’s mother persisted in pestering her. Kenzie was reportedly informed by her mother that the names “were important and should be used,” notwithstanding the preferences of her son and his wife. Whoa…
“My mother inquired of Kenzie a few weeks following the initial event as to whether baby Rodger or baby Elizabeth would be joining the household. The man went on, “Kenzie mentioned mom bringing up the names to me then but downplayed how pushy she was being so I said nothing at that point.” Kenzie informed her neither of those names were in the running and we didn’t know yet.
Image courtesy of Getty / Universal Images Group / BSIP.
The circumstances worsen.
When the couple found out they were expecting a boy, the situation finally reached a breaking point, and the mother took it upon herself to purchase baby things embroidered with the name Rodger.
When she handed us a small door ornament with the name Rodger on it, that’s when we first learned about this. The man said, “At the time, I told my mom that we hadn’t decided on a name yet and that we wouldn’t be making the announcement until after he was here.
Unfortunately, the future grandma didn’t decide to stop there. She even went so far as to post on social media about the embroidered clothes and baby goods, which naturally gave the false impression that the expectant couple had chosen the name “Rodger.”
At this point, the man claims he “lost it” and went to speak with his mother face-to-face. She told him it was crucial that the pair consider her advice because she would be one of the baby’s grandparents.
His mother “had zero rights to name our baby and her opinion wasn’t wanted or important here,” the man firmly replied in response. Then he said, “I should have more respect for my mom because she told me it was rude to dismiss her opinion and her feelings as unimportant.”
Getty is credited.
But after thinking back on the exchange, the Redditor questioned whether telling his mother how he felt had been too much. Despite realizing that he needed some distance from his controlling mother, he wasn’t sure if his reaction was the right one. The incident brought to light the difficulties that can occur when members of one’s extended family participate in a newborn’s naming process, underscoring the importance of setting clear limits and having courteous conversations.
What was spoken on the internet
“You shouldve put a stop to this long ago,” one individual wrote. You ought to have informed her again after her initial forceful behavior, and you should have personally vetoed the names, just like your father did.
“Go to the social media posts or make your own referencing hers and tell everyone that your baby won’t be named either of those things,” they said, continuing, and then they said, “You should shut your mom down instead of building resentment.”
“Your wife should block her and all communication should go through you from now on,” said a different response. Making her deal with all of this is unfair, especially because she is expecting a child or is a new parent.
How do you feel? If you had been in this circumstance, would you have acted similarly? Tell us in the comments below!
