Son finds out his dad is cheating on his mom – should he ruin the family by telling her

One of the most damaging things someone can do in a relationship is probably cheating. It is important to remember that infidelity can cause great anguish to the people who are cheated on by their relationships.

And perhaps that’s why so many people have been strongly affected by this narrative.

A youngster has discovered the disturbing fact that his father had cheated on his mother after 27 years of marriage.

He was put in a tough situation where he wasn’t sure if he should tell his parents about this discovery or not since he was afraid it would break the tie between them. He went to Reddit, a social media platform, in search of advice and insight on how to overcome the difficulty of freeing himself from the burden of this closely held secret.

Having witnessed his parents’ enduring 27-year marriage, the son’s childhood has been characterized by his father’s steadfast commitment to providing for his mother and his unflinching caring for him and his sibling.

But one fateful day, he came onto a Facebook communication between his father and a woman, and it changed his entire perspective on life. The conversation’s contents disclosed his dad’s continuous romance with this unidentified woman. This startling realization gave his father a whole new perspective.


However, the son left for college after learning of the disclosure. “Kept that memory repressed, hoping it will go away,” was all he did. Maybe he misread the circumstances or made a mistake. Sadly, it wasn’t the situation.

I completed my undergrad and then enrolled in graduate school. After nearly a year apart, I returned home last week, and I still see him using his phone in a very covert manner,” the son wrote.

Apparently, suspicions remained about his father’s actions.

The son once requested to use his father’s phone. But then he noticed his father quietly turning off his data so that no alerts would appear.

Being a 24-year-old who grew up with a cell phone, he was aware that his father was likely hiding something from him.

The son was now torn between opposing feelings; he was in a terrible situation. As previously said, he recognized the priceless contributions his father had made to his life and had a great deal of respect for him. He was aware of his mother’s independence as well, but he also understood that this would ruin her.

The son claimed that revealing his father’s affair may have disastrous effects. He realized that telling his mother this information would rock her world and ultimately cause their marriage to fail. The 24-year-old sincerely wanted to avoid bearing the burden of maybe being accountable for such a result.

This event taught me a very important lesson as well. The son wrote, “You can be a shitty husband and an amazing dad at the same time.”

But though he looked at it from many angles, there was going to be a serious issue in the family eventually. Given the son’s close relationship with his father, it felt like a betrayal to tell his mother about the discovery before talking to his father.

He was aware that those who were immediately impacted would suffer the most in this entire circumstance, in addition to himself. His younger brother was also unaware of the romance; he was just accepted to medical school. The realization would have a significant effect on both him and his brother’s lives.


The son didn’t want to seek comfort from his group of friends either since he was afraid of what they would think of him and his father. The son claimed that his father was respected and loved by all of his friends.

He was caught up in a tornado of feelings and didn’t know how to proceed, but he also knew he had to find a solution.

“In the end, I understand that it is my responsibility to choose the option I believe may be the best one,” he remarked.

We can identify a few trends if we look at the Reddit user’s response to this peculiar query. First and foremost, commentators wanted to reassure the son that he shouldn’t be held responsible for the final result inside his family. His father was solely to blame because he had an extramarital affair.

A few people advised him to tell his mother about the facts, as this would likely help him cope with the emotional fallout from his father’s deceit.

On the other hand, someone else said that the mother might already know if there was proof of the affair.


In the meantime, Reddit users stressed the need for him to have an adult discussion with his father and acknowledged that all relationships have flaws. However, other users thought it was concerning that he gave his father more importance than his mother.

Even though the users’ opinions varied, they all agreed to support the son in breaking the six-year-old secret he had been keeping to himself.

What the son ultimately decided to do is still unknown. Still, he conveyed his sincere appreciation for the support and attention his message received.

Hopefully, all of the advice he got will help him decide what’s “right” and provide comfort to him during a trying time.

In this case, how would you have handled things? Or have you ever encountered a situation like this? Please feel free to leave your comments in Facebook’s comment area!

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